Thursday, May 11, 2006
Confucius
Have been meeting up with concerned friends these couple of days for breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper and yes, yours truly now needs to get those meals off my body.
It's gonna be painful...very painful.
If you need a point of reference, it's as painful as having your *ahem* skin caught in your zipper. (If you didn't get that, then never mind.) Trust me, I know... the meet-up-with-friends plan doesn't really quite fit in (pun not intended) with the looking-gorgeous-in-a-dress grand scheme.
So anyway, as I was saying, the above mentioned concerned friends have quite coincidentally been talking/drilling me about my life.
At this moment, I would like to implore that you lift your hands from your mouse or keyboard and join me in bending and unbending your index and middle fingers.
Yes, like " " that.
My "life".
So anyway, I must make an official statement now.
*pause*
"Results will be out the day before I leave for BBK."
Such an anti-climax right? It is a major bummer for me as well. =(
Dang! Hope it doesn't break my trip. On the bright side, I'd have one full day to mope/gloat.
*gag*
At this point, I do realize that I'm yaddering i.e. going on and on without making a point. But it's actually quite typical of me to beat about the (G.) bush when I'm trying to make a serious point. And what serious point am I trying to make?
Well, it is certainly not about the exams. And though being able to zip up dresses IS extremely important, this particular point that I hope to make is even more serious than that. Can you imagine? More serious than the bodily paranoid and obsessed person's preoccupation with weight!
Wow! Call our toll-free hotlines now. Our friendly operators are ready to assist you...
Grrr...you say.
Aiya...yes, let's get on with it.
So the point is: friends have been very concerned about my current state of mind and lifestyle. I wish I could assure them that I'm in complete control.
But they know/think that I'm not. Despite my being very certain of my 5 year, 10 year plans, pathetic fallacy has it that I have no sense of directions when it comes to actually getting there.
This sucks.
Big time.
Did I mention that it sucks?
But anyways, I think that despite/because of the bo-bos I've made in the past, I'm much more aware of my personal weaknesses and pitfalls. And I'm really trying very hard to repeat my earlier success story (yes. I have made progress on the accumulating good track-record thing.) wherein I was (part of) a sensible, rational and amicable arrangement.
Do you know what I'm getting at? I need to figure out a way (watch me extend the metaphor! Hah!) to lead me to the destiny that I WILL fulfill. Assuming that paths that have not been treaded on are hazy, it is really up to the individual to make intelligent, calculated predictions (not guesses) about where the tracks will lead to.
Yes, yes... I am aware that each step into the unknown is a gamble. But my point here is that I believe that the analysis of past statistics together with my (self-proclaimed) general intelligence would get me somewhere.
Well, that and divine intervention. But that's another matter altogether.
My decision now?
I'm not going anywhere.
Especially not while I'm still on my sabbatical.
It is my time to rest and recharge and I'm positive that I don't wanna miss out on that.
There.
cLoUd DriFteD bY at
2:37 AM
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