Recently, some good things have been happening to friends around me. By 'good', I mean things which are generally considered pleasant but nothing I particularly wanted very much for myself.

I have to be specific?

Hmm... well, things like getting scholarships, getting attached, getting their papers done, getting out of the country etc. It's interesting to note, by the way, that these pleasant things are all based on acquisition. Sorta like an extension on consumerism, as if happiness can only be achieved by owning more and more things.

Sooo... as I was saying, good things happen to my friends. And I, being the ever faithful (and too trusting) friend, am of course happy for them. But at the same time, there is this nagging voice in my mind that surprisingly resembles jealousy/envy.

I must quantify that I wish my friends well and in the first place, what they accomplished isn't what I wanted for myself either. So the next logical conclusion will be: if I'm not jealous of what they have, then I must be envious of their happiness.

That got me thinking about the feeling less loved bits too.

If we're all unique and lovable in our own ways, then wouldn't that simply make you average, like everyone else? So how can one ever be in a state better and happier than others?

Logically speaking, it is impossible.

This sorta leaves me in a spot.

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