Saturday, April 29, 2006
My Mantra: Better late than never
The end of my last graded exam in NUS.
I said to XX as I was walking away from our bench...
"Bye! 我们不再是同学了!" (We're no longer school mates.)
Said in jest that our ties as school mates have ended. But so poignant too, when I think about the many school mates I've lost touch with...
Does growing up, moving on necessarily have to mean drifting away? Hmm...
*emote*
I must resolve to be less of a 'passive friend'.
cLoUd DriFteD bY at
12:05 AM link to post
0 comments
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Another pat on my back
I'm sooooo proud of myself can? Figured how to upload songs on my blog (almost) all my myself!
I'm becoming a techie! I'm supergirl!
Well, actually..."Little Superhero Girl" to be exact.
Thanks Da, for teaching me cheap/good tricks. =)
See, such a wonderful example of giving credit where it's due. Hahaha!
And careful there while you're leaving, watch out for the swelling head...
cLoUd DriFteD bY at
11:56 PM link to post
0 comments
Just for the record
Today marks the last of my examinations in NUS. At long last, at the blink of an eye, the two contradictory statements have merged and I realize that if all goes well, as of today, I would have completed 4 years of tertiary education.
Every time I think about the fact that I've actually managed to complete higher education despite: 1. General muddling and slacking 2. Being emotionally distraught every other exam time 3. Thinking that I couldn't even make it to poly (coz I couldn't pass Maths)
I am thankful... For friends who have been there, supporting and encouraging me. For the people who have broaden my mind. For the passers-by who trudged through my life and unwittingly allowed me to learn humbling lessons.
For my dad who ensures that I make it to school for lessons. For my mom whom I turn to for advise. For God, who has shown me great mercy and miracles that I am unworthy of.
Contrasting the 19 year old who entered NUS with the 23 year old leaving, I would like to think that there are significant improvements, such as being more independent, more intelligent, looking prettier (this is important) and generally being a better person...
Speaking of significant, other than improvements, as a side note (and as reply to people who are perplexed by perpetual dieters), I have grown significantly and empirically older and larger.
*gag* Hope that's not going to be a trend.
Oh, in case your eyes lit up at certain keywords in the above paragraph, (I know its juvenile, but...)
Kaypoh la, you!
So with that electronic dog-ear bit, I leave you to reminisce about autograph books, memories and graduation.
Everybody seems to be talking about love these days. Within a week, I've had conversations about:
a) Self-destructive love b) Past loves c) Seeking love d) Staying away from love
*ed: A special mention must go out to YT for being soooo in love.
It's quite interesting really, that just within my limited, small social circle (it is exam time after all), there are so many reactions to this same thing.
To think of it, some of us started dating younger i.e. in sec school and others later, but at the end of the day, at the grand old age of twenty-something (yes, darling. We're no longer teens.), so many of us are still vexed by the same issue.
Therefore, if you ask me, there really isn't a need to start early. You'll end up at the same place as everybody else anyway. It's just a matter of the number of battle-scars accumulated.
With that opening, technically what follows should be my opinions on the above mentioned matter or at least some updates about my love-life. Sorry to disappoint! Me leaving this hanging here as it is... =P No time to wax lyrical.
But for entertainment value, you can take a look at this. Apologies to those who (studied but still) can't understand Mandarin.
Given that I'm forever bitching about how some people don't ever update their blogs, (Yes! You! Don't you dare look away!) I guess I have to put something up. So here's a list of random things, not necessarily related:
Didn't manage to find my textbook. Screwed up on online booking of air tickets. Putting my entire savings account at risk. Got PMS. Was pissed off with someone. Had someone do something really kind and undeserved to me. Studied with girl friend. Became source of entertainment for friends. Met nice Malay muggers and relived Kampung life. Found a school friend's blog... again!
So yes, as you can see. Life has been very interesting.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Because I am such a cock-ster
Dear Sir/Madam,
Good morning.
I am writing to enquire about a book misplaced in Novena Square.
Last night, 17th April Mon, I was at Novena Square for dinner. Slightly after 9pm, I went to the ladies at level 1 (the level where Poh Khim VCD/DVD is) and left a book in the cubicle.
I am hoping someone turned the book in or that a staff might have found the book as it is my examination text and there are notes in it which I hope to be able to retrieve.
The details of the books are: Title: Shame Author: Rushdie It is a yellow, soft cover book which is highlighted and underlined.
I would be very thankful if you could follow up on my email and give me a call as soon as you can as this is quite an urgent matter. My open-book examination is on Saturday!
In advance, thank you for your time and attention.
Sincerely, unbelievably absent-minded horrendously careless the First
!@#$%^&*()__PO(*&^%$#@#$%^&*()&^%$#@!@#$%^&*((*&^%$#@!@#$%^&
cLoUd DriFteD bY at
9:17 AM link to post
0 comments
Quite the Weirdo
Weird things I did today:
1. Wore green. Almost complete ensemble. 2. Went out, unplanned...during reading week. 3. Ate dim sum twice in a day. 4. Stayed up till 240am reading about some dude's "trips".
My morbid streak is quite amazing sometimes, hope it doesn't get out of control. Like that of Lepore's M.A.C commercial... whom I spent Sat extensively researching about.
Recently, some good things have been happening to friends around me. By 'good', I mean things which are generally considered pleasant but nothing I particularly wanted very much for myself.
I have to be specific?
Hmm... well, things like getting scholarships, getting attached, getting their papers done, getting out of the country etc. It's interesting to note, by the way, that these pleasant things are all based on acquisition. Sorta like an extension on consumerism, as if happiness can only be achieved by owning more and more things.
Sooo... as I was saying, good things happen to my friends. And I, being the ever faithful (and too trusting) friend, am of course happy for them. But at the same time, there is this nagging voice in my mind that surprisingly resembles jealousy/envy.
I must quantify that I wish my friends well and in the first place, what they accomplished isn't what I wanted for myself either. So the next logical conclusion will be: if I'm not jealous of what they have, then I must be envious of their happiness.
That got me thinking about the feeling less loved bits too.
If we're all unique and lovable in our own ways, then wouldn't that simply make you average, like everyone else? So how can one ever be in a state better and happier than others?
Logically speaking, it is impossible.
This sorta leaves me in a spot.
.
(very Tristram Shandy I think! Hah!)
Yes, we should aspire towards a general state of zen-ness where what happens to other people doesn't affect you. But that's difficult and almost impossible given the competitive, comparative environment we live in.
Knowing me, I had to mull over it for a few days. Before it...
Suddenly struck me that this need to compete or to be better off than other people is because of dissatisfaction. A thirst that exists because the vessel isn't filled.
We all have a saturation point where we will be completely filled and contented. When you're at that stage, anything more will runneth over and be shared with other people. And you won't want anything else, simply because you are filled.
Coming to this reconciliation, I felt at peace.
Because I know, thank God, how I could attain that level of complete fulfillment. =)
So that's that, a major phew! One angst down and one victory won!
"Oh look at me! I'm stronger. I've borne you sons. Look at our son! Look at how Reuben is walking. Look at how my sons tend to your flocks... Look! Look. Look..."
She says. She pleads.
But even as he looks, his gaze lingers on the frailer, the younger, the favorite.
And how do you react?
Hell has no fury, they say, like a woman scorned. Do you retaliate? Do you get angry? Or do you turn around and lash at them, like a beast? Snarling and gnashing from the wound inflicted to your chest...
And would this anger take on an anarchic, nihilistic streak? Scoffing at what is denied you, spitting on that which you want... Macabre humor at the burlesque? At you?
And now I can understand why people say: you can cheat on me, but just don't let me know. Because really, what can you do even when you know?
So I smile. I act like I don't know. I don't think about it.
MR Lim Biow Chuan started his own legal business just two months ago.
Specialising in criminal and civil litigation and property transactions, the lawyer of 17 years worked as a legal assistant at two firms before setting up his own partnership called Tan Lim and Wong in 1994.
Twelve years later, Lim BC & Co was born.
Interestingly, he's also a church leader at the Ang Mo Kio Methodist Church, where he occasionally delivers sermons from the pulpit.
And not too long ago, another mention was made in a local newspaper about the passing of a young couple in Bahrain, who were also church leaders in Ang Mo Kio Methodist Church.
I think Ang Mo Kio Methodist Church is getting quite a bit of publicity these days. Whatever shall we do with it?
cLoUd DriFteD bY at
9:17 PM link to post
0 comments
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Hello! I'm back...
Salut! The raging, relentless demons are back...
cLoUd DriFteD bY at
12:49 PM link to post
0 comments
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Doing (yet) more work
It seems like my never ending struggle with work is still as it is--never-ending. And because I've been escapist these days i.e. sleeping excessively. (ARGH!!!) There is nothing I have to say.
But, I've been doing some research on cosmetics and gender, here are some interesting nuggets of information to share. Else we can consider this the obligatory nature of feminism to educate the general public.
Either way... do note that the person in the picture is a Man! How charmingly subversive right?
As a last random point, on how clueless (yet vain) men are when it comes to makeup:
Even the directions for the products are tailored for men.
"On the eye gel, we have to put `Close your eyes' on the directions," Probst said. "They truly do not know what to do."
Whilst I'm struggling with the last bit of school, I remember that we're doing this i.e. going to school coz eventually, we need to work.
And working is about earning money is it not?
Sigh... so sterile. What job satisfaction?
But in the spirit of things, check this out: http://app.mom.gov.sg/momwagesearch/wagesearch.aspx
If you are gonna be applying for a job, at least know how much you should be paid. Since we're likely to be unhappy, let it not be unhappy and under paid.
It might just be my deluded self, but some people have expressed interest in my paper on capitalism and consumerism in Matilda and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
I've put it up online! Haha! As if its really sought after... But it is accessible at charlieandmatilda.blogspot.com
It's a 6k-ish piece so its a bit too long to read at one online-go. But I've made "chapters"...
Monday, April 03, 2006
Given that Life is Short...
Look here, you people who say, "Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit." How do you know what will happen tomorrow? For your life is like the morning fog--it's here a little while, then it's gone. What you ought to say is, "If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that." Otherwise you will be boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil.
~James 4:13-16~
Apt, even down to the literal context...
cLoUd DriFteD bY at
11:11 PM link to post
0 comments
But I remember being at the seaside with you I remember that big white tee shirt you wore Hanging around that rock in the sea Borrowing your goggles Looking at the fish
I remember the games you played with your friends I remember organic corn chips at your home I remember our running joke I remember looking at you I remember
Your wife Your job Your niece Your ministry You
With the hairs on your arm With your tee shirt and jeans tucked in With your intelligence With your determination With that
Stubborn streak Your opinions counted
Counting down daily Because really Our days are numbered
Saturday, April 01, 2006
A Reminder Through Uncle George's Reflections
I am sure most of you must have known what happened to Shi Zheng and Yanru. This was something that I did not expect to happen but it did. When I read JH's email to me, I just could not accept it. And it has such an impact on me that I would like to share with you how I felt.
Shi Zheng and Yanru have been very close to us. Huili and I saw them grew from teens into youth and from youth to adult. As you can imagine, the news came as a rude shock to me! Never would I expect that they would return to the LORD at such a young age. I struggled with God the whole day why this happened? Doesn't God control all things? God could, if He would, rescue them from the ferry but why He did not? Doesn't God love them?
I, intellectually, know that He does love them, even more than anyone of us. I also know that God has their best interests at heart. But still, my heart just could not accept it. I asked God for WORD to comfort my heart.
You could not imagine the timeliness of God. I read Psalm 39 when I finally could come before God. I read in verse 4-5:
"LORD, make me to know my end, And what is the measure of my days, That I may know how frail I am. Indeed, You have made my days as handbreadths, And my age is as nothing before You; Certainly every man at his best state is but vapor."
King David put it so vividly that even when we are in our best shape, we still could not control our lives, which is like grasping water vapor. You see, I always feel so comfortable and quite certain that there are still many years to my life because right now when I am still young and healthy. We go about planning, enjoying and accumulating like life will never end. But God knows how long you and I would live.
Every life will come to an end, some sooner than others. We never realise how frail our lives are!
I must admit that sometimes I have been too busy in life. I would occasionally fall into the trap trying to store up wealth and materials so as to have a comfortable living. I got a wake-up call when I read in verse 6 that
"man...heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it."
King David was right--all the wealth and possessions we accumulate would go to others when it is time for us to leave the world. King Solomon said, that everything is meaningless. All of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
If life is so short, frail and meaningless, then what is life for? What is the purpose of living? What joy would I find in life? All seemed dark until I was assured of hope as I read in verse 7 of Ps 39,
"And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You"
If there is no God, there is no purpose to live. If there is no God, there is no hope to live. My hope is in the Lord. My purpose is in the Lord.
Sure, I do not understand this tragedy or why it happened. You know, I miss Shi Zheng and Yanru so much. It hurts! I really wish that I could fellowship with them again in person! I know this could be done and the time could not be turned back. But I know that God is my hope. I am confident that one day I shall see them again in God's glorious presence.
I claim the promise that all things work for the good of those who love Him. You can do the same in the midst of our sadness. God is in control, He still is.
This tragedy, though heartbreaking, has been a wake-up call for me to re-examine my priorities and directions in life. Sometimes, busyness just consumed us and robbed us the time to pause, pray, evaluate and change course.
cLoUd DriFteD bY at
1:20 PM link to post
0 comments
Love me this way
Not unfamiliar with this Love Language thing, but the results were not what I expected.
But anyhow, this probably explains why I'm touchy. =)
The Five Love Languages
My primary love languages are probably Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation.
Complete set of results
Physical Touch:
8
Words of Affirmation:
8
Receiving Gifts:
6
Acts of Service:
4
Quality Time:
4
Information
Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.
kennysia
But, I've been doing some research on cosmetics and gender, here are some interesting nuggets of information to share. Else we can consider this the obligatory nature of feminism to educate the general public.