Saturday, September 09, 2006
Second rate love
A conversation with a friend ended with:
(unnamed) hurt me so much the last time. I won't let it happen this time.
That declaration, said with so much confidence, with so much determination, it took me by surprise.
I've come across guys who have learnt from past experiences (and from round table discussions with drinking buddies) that women can't be overly indulged, else they'll be spoilt and unmanageable.
And I've also known women who keep a part of themselves apart, who can't trust.
Isn't that the case for so many of us these days?
That we can no longer love uninhibited nor with wild abandon.
That being experienced has created a fort that is awe-inspiring yet impermeable.
That the ghosts of our past never really seem to be put to rest.
The situation doesn't necessarily has to be motivated by negativity. Like my friend, who is making a rational, logical decision not to repeat the same mistake again.
But why?
Because they've been "hurt so much the last time".
The last time.
Sometimes I wish no one came with a past. But yes, we must acknowledge that experience makes us wiser (and sometimes better people) and that we bring aspects of lessons learnt into the next relationship. But come to think of it, who bears the brunt of your experience? Could it be:
The one who struggles with her emotions while you make your rational decision.
The one who struggles to remember that you love her while you make a stand for manly principles.
The one who struggles to understand you while you are concerned with protecting yourself.
The one whom you pushed away because you couldn't trust.
So pause and think.
Who is the recipient of your second hand love?
cLoUd DriFteD bY at
2:46 PM
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